virtually detached

I’d forgotten how much I loved bacon… I was enjoying every single piece while watching Armageddon. What is it about that movie? It never seemed to get old. Oh yeah! After this I decided, Troy!

Holidays were getting monotonous and I’d developed my routine. It was simple: Minimum 3 sappy movies, facebook and some good food. Stepping out in the heat, no way. I was in my ‘nooone-s-gonna-see-me-except-mom’ pyjamas when the phone rang.

‘Hello?’ I hadn’t heard that voice in almost a year but there was no mistaking it. I wasn’t going to be stupid so I said ‘Who’s this?’, and the inevitable reply came. ‘Why the hell are you calling me?’

‘Just like that, wanted to talk…’

THUD… I’ve always wanted to hang up like that.

And again ‘Please just listen-‘ THUD… Awesome. I didn’t know I could be so cruel. And then the doorbell rang. No way, that doesn’t happen! It couldn’t possibly be him but it was.

Then I got the ‘I was an idiot. It was a big mistake… blah blah blah’ same speech right at the doorway. Well obviously I wasn’t going to let him in. I totally spaced out, not even listening, just watching him speak as I thought of a hundred things. I was in my above mentioned pyjamas, a t-shirt that could fit two of me, hair never looked worse, and bacon and mayo in my mouth. Hearing how beautiful I looked, should’ve made me feel great.

‘You talking to me?’ I said and I smiled. I hadn’t smiled at him in a long time. Don’t know how I managed it And THUD, this time the door. ‘Please, this time its different trust me…’ And I ran up when the phone rang again.

‘Babe did he come? He said he was gonna come over to talk to you, just wanted to warn you. Just don’t talk to him ok.’

‘Ah I slammed the door…’

‘Are you serious? I though you might be upset’ she laughed, ‘I always knew you were a bitch. But I’ll never understand how you got over it so easy, I wish I could be like that. Are you sure you’re ok?’

‘Let’s find someone cuter tonight. Meet me at ccd, 7 o clock ok?’ I could picture her laughing at him.

She laughed, ‘Emotionless freak! It’s a date.’ She hung up. The phone was almost wet from the tears and my eyes were burning…

too good to be true!

Why do we even say that? If everything works out well, why is that it is our instinct to question it or assume it to be jinxed. Have we become so cynical that we refuse to believe that happy endings do exist? It is mainly because I don't think we know how to define happy... Maybe things do get messed up often, but mostly I feel it seems that way because we expect too much.

My friend Sangay has this theory about Hindi movies. She says enter and watch with no expectations and you’ll come out satisfied. Because we all know most of it sucks, but frankly we take some sort of pleasure in cribbing about it.

I think she’s making a valid statement, and it’s not just about movies. Miracles don’t happen and I agree, but we can’t use that as an excuse to not believe that things could turn out really amazing.

I still believe I can get high without a single drink (company matters…)
I still believe that there is at least one person out there just to make you feel good about yourself as there are those to make you feel bad about yourself.

I may be an atheist, but in this case, I’m a staunch believer. I rest my case.