teen-(wha?)-age

is it true? do teenagers really not know what they're doing?

i can firmly say i was mature enough and i knew exactly what i was doin the past 3 yrs. but am i fooling myself? i can't decide. i'm turning twenty in a couple of months and believe me thats hyuuuge...

wen i was 13 i thought im not 10 anymore i know what im doin. same with 16 and 13 and with 19 and 16. but 20 seems like a whole new level u know. people mite actually start listening to what im saying.

as cool as it is, sounds scary. i never pictured myself in a place where i've to take care of myself 'completely' even though that mite not happen til i finish college... like 22! the world just seems mainly expensive.

plus how can i do that in a place where deep down everyone still thinks im a kid! truthfully, its hard to be taken seriously wen u're hyper and u a 5'4" and look 16! the brighter side is, its exciting. will my opinion actually be valued among the so-calld adults. its a chance, shouldn let my hopes down

but wen will i really feel like im all grown up? does anyone ever feel all grown up or is it an illusion. do people just force themselves to act grown up to be respected and considered mature.

given a chance would they still pick li'l fights and punch each other, slam doors, sip on extra large ice teas and extra extra large popcorns, watch 3 movies back to back, run to an empty swing, speed on empty roads or buy pink balloons?
whoa! do i want to grow up :)